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I grew up on Curacao; enjoying the warm sun, beautiful beaches, good food and the relaxed mentality. As a young adult I moved to the Netherlands to study. In 2007 I met my Prince Friso, fortunately without a white horse. In 2019 we got a beautiful daughter, Noëmi, who teaches us valuable life lessons every day.
Milk Gems stands for modern and meaningful jewelry. They are about inspiring joy, love and trust and give you a stylish way to capture your special moments and memories.
My breastfeeding adventure was the main driving force behind this brand. This adventure didn't start so great (read more about it at the bottom of this page) but without this special time I would never have started designing DNA jewelry (breastmilk jewelry and memorial jewelry) and personalized jewelry (with a fingerprint or engraving). I really like that you want to trust me to capture your memories in a unique piece of jewelry. Thanks for that!
The story behind Milk Gems
After my daughter Noemi was born, I can't breastfeed her. I then switched to full-time pumping. During the period of full-time pumping, I noticed how time-consuming, heavy, difficult, beautiful and special feeding a baby is. The energy, time and effort demand a lot from you but this is definitely worth it. I then decided I wanted to capture the fun, the struggle and this special time. Creativity has always been the common thread in my life. I have worked as a wedding photographer for years and I thoroughly enjoy capturing all the emotions on a wedding day. After this I started working as a privacy officer. For many people this sounds like something boring. But scrutinizing laws and regulations and translating them into clear requirements and creating frameworks for colleagues requires quite a bit of creativity. During my quest to document my breastfeeding adventure, I fell in love with the idea of personalizing a piece of jewelry. To store breast milk and make it into a breast milk jewellery.
I wanted something I could hold close to my heart: a lifelong lasting memory of this amazing and special journey. When my maternity leave was over, I decided to seriously look at opportunities to make breast milk jewelry in addition to my job. It took me months to find the right recipe to process a living product, breast milk, into a piece of jewelry. I used every breastfeeding moment to research, test and talk to experts. After testing, failing and more testing, I found the recipe that suits me and works well. Like breastfeeding, making a breast milk jewelry is a journey and there is no rush in the process.
I have gradually come across more and more people who also wanted a personalized piece of jewelery with breast milk, or the ashes of a loved one or a fingerprint of their partner. They often told me their (emotional) story. Behind each one is a memory, moment or adventure that is captured: a breastfeeding experience (whether live feeding, pumping or donated milk), the death of a faithful dog, a wedding, a miscarriage... Each one of these stories is unique, often full of different blessings and challenges. I'm so happy that I get to create something special for someone else every time. My work is an attempt to capture emotions and memories. For me, each piece of jewelry is a unique work of art with its own unique story, color and luminescence.
Story or adventure?
I had prepared myself for a lot during my pregnancy: parenting, co-sleeping, slings, baby method, giving birth: all subjects that I knew very little about at the time. What I hadn't prepared for was breastfeeding. I thought that breastfeeding would work, after all, that's what my body was built for, was my reasoning. I hadn't read up or taken any courses and I understood from my girlfriends that I shouldn't worry about that. Worries only came when the teeth came through a bit.
My only requirement in my delivery was an epidural, the rest I would take as it came. After the young and new anesthetist had made the wrong puncture twice, we would try it one more time before one with experience would be brought in. Fortunately, the 3rd injection went well.
At least, that's what I thought. Until I and the nurse realized after an hour that the epidural had been given at an angle and it didn't want to sink to the other side. After my dilation after 11 hours didn't get any better either, the gynecologist cautiously asked me if a caesarean section was optional or if I still wanted to wait a few more hours. I immediately gave permission for a caesarean section.
Our beautiful daughter Noëmi was born within an hour: perfectly healthy, beautiful and transcending everything. In the hours that followed, my euphoria slowly waned. Every time I put her to bed, she would cry and get frustrated. Not a drop came out. I was advised to give it time. It is common for a caesarean section that your milk production starts after 30-48 hours. After 2 days we came home and the maternity nurse advised me to start pumping as soon as possible: only stimulate my breasts, not really express yet. The swollen and tight feeling, the warmth, the tension were all part of it.
In retrospect, it's pretty stupid that I didn't immediately seek specialized help at the time. After I stimulated alone for 7 days and was not allowed to pump a drop yet, it didn't feel right and I called in a lactation consultant. She saw a stressed and tired mother who really wanted to breastfeed and, understandably, advised me to start pumping: a maximum of 7 minutes at a time and, above all, to sleep a lot.
From full-time pumping to breast feeding
It felt like I was failing my daughter. I pumped but only had a yield of 5-10ml at a time. I felt gloomy, guilty, had crying spells, was irritable and hardly slept anymore. As I slowly slipped into postpartum depression, I decided to look online for a solution.
On facebook I came across a special group of women who pump full time. They gave me several tips to increase my production. I didn't give up and decided to pump 11x a day to get my milk flow going. It was incredibly stressful and exhausting but I persevered. Everything I pumped, my daughter drank and I supplemented with formula. Every few days there was clearly a little more breast milk.
After 4 months of pumping full time, I went to another lactation consultant. I remained with the wish to breastfeed Noëmi, but I didn't know if she could still do this (drinking from a teat is different from a breast). The lactation consultant, who specializes in breastfeeding support for premature babies, was a godsend. She took up the challenge and let me come to her for a free consultation.
Surprisingly, it went well. I held Noemi on the instructions of the lactation consultant and she ate and drank as if she had never done anything else. But what should I do with my production? When I pump, I can see how much this is and it is always just not enough. What if Noemi couldn't drink enough? What was I supposed to do then? The lactation consultant reassured me and especially urged me to trust that it would work out. A baby drinks much more efficiently than a machine could pump and she would automatically cluster if she needed more, which would increase my production.
When I got home I was a little worried and I was in two minds. Together with my husband Friso, I decided to go away for a long weekend with the 3 of us, without a breast pump. Just trust my body, don't stress, relax a lot, do fun things and sleep well.
And yes, Noëmi drank when she needed it, was a happy and content child. And I too was happy, content, got as much sleep as possible and relaxed. The control I thought I needed was not necessary at all. I didn't miss or need my breast pump for a single moment that weekend.
It was a precious gift to still be able to breastfeed my daughter. After 14 months of breastfeeding, Noëmi mainly ate solid food and wanted to drink less herself. That was the time to slowly phase out breastfeeding at her own pace.
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